


I'll search the universe for you

by geek1o1



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Angst, Character Death, Heavy Angst, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, M/M, NASA, Outer Space, Please Don't Hate Me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:47:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24159889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geek1o1/pseuds/geek1o1
Summary: Floating around in deep space aimlessly, Baekhyun gets lost in thoughts about his beloved.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	I'll search the universe for you

The moment of explosion  
It had happened in a very dramatic way. Baekhyun thought it was as if he was watching a movie and the explosion was just another scene playing on the screen. But the explosion was real and Baekhyun was a part of it.  
He couldn't figure out the amount of damage it had done to his spacesuit. Everything was happening too fast for him to keep track of, yet too slow so he felt every single second like it was torture.

The first minute  
He doesn't breath in after exhaling during the explosion. He doesn't know if his helmet or his oxygen tank or both are cracked or not. He didn't want to risk holding his breath in if there was no air. No air meant if he held his breath in, his lungs would explode because there is no pressure in the space.  
He looks at the small machine attached to wrist as it was blinking green light. He finally breaths in, green meant he had at least 70% oxygen left in his tank. Enough for around 20 minutes if he plays smart.

The 3rd minute  
Baekhyun felt frustrated. The space is vast and empty. There is no sound, no chaos yet no calmness or serenity. It was just void. As if it was taunting Baekhyun on how alone he was there, all by himself surrounded by destroyed shuttle pieces and his dark ugly thoughts. It reminds Baekhyun of his high school time. Oh how much he hated going to classes everyday. The whole school was filled with people but Baekhyun felt so alone. But all changed when he got admitted into NASA training program. That's when he met certain someone he was so sure he could spend the rest of his life with.

The 5th minute  
Baekhyun finally evens his breathing. Panicking, hyperventilating or crying will only make him breath faster which would result him losing his oxygen sooner.  
He chuckles at himself, not entirely sure what he found funny. He just felt like chuckling.  
Losing oxygen faster or slower wouldn't be any different. Baekhyun knows it's inevitable. Only a matter of time before he'll fall into deep slumber while being lost in space.

The 6th minute  
He doesn't regret it though. He accepted his death the moment he pushed Chanyeol away from the shuttle. They whole crew knew the shuttle was going explode due to some malfunction. Their captain was about to take the shuttle away from their ship so none of the crew could get hurt. But obviously his soft hearted Chanyeol was ready to sacrifice himself to save the captain. He admires Suho for not even flinching when he was walking towards the shuttle. Baekhyun probably would've tried to talk to Suho to figure another way out but Chanyeol beat him to it.  
Chanyeol boarded the shuttle before he could stop Suho.

The 8th minute  
Chanyeol is the love of his life.

A single tear starts falling from his eye as he chuckles humorlessly again.

Chanyeol _was_ the love of his life.

Countless memories shared with the said man as well as a bed, apartment and was about to share even last names. Park-Byun household, what a chaotic lovable place it would've been.  
Maybe he regrets it a bit now while few wrecked shuttle parts floats away slowly. Maybe he regrets asking Chanyeol to marry him right before the mission. He shouldn't have taken the risk knowing anything could happen at any given moment in space. But he got too careless. He was too in love to think what would happen to his soft hearted fiance if he never got to come back.

The 10th minute  
He thinks about Chanyeol. That's how he wants to die, while he thinks about Chanyeol.  
The machine attached to his wrist started blinking orange light since the 9th minute started. Oxygen level somewhere around 40% to 70%.  
He closes his eyes to stop himself from crying. He doesn't want to see the space anymore.  
He wants to stare at Chanyeol's face illuminated by the soft glow of the moon. He wants to lose himself whole staring into Chanyeol's eyes as the sun sets in the background.

The 11th minute  
He can't stop crying anymore. He knows he is losing time even faster now, but how could he control his emotions?  
He wanted to give the sun and the moon to Chanyeol. But it seems now he left him with nothing but pain and sorrow.  
The very last sentence he got to say to Chanyeol was "I'm sorry but I love you too much to lose you."  
He doesn't regret it. Although he would've liked to say sorry to Chanyeol properly. Apologize for all the times he wasn't a good enough significant other. And maybe if he could, just tell Chanyeol how much he loves him.  
Chanyeol didn't reply to his last 'I love you'. Maybe he did, Baekhyun only remembers the heart wrenching scream he had let out. He was punching and slapping the door once he realized Baekhyun already sealed it.

The 13th minute  
NASA training program probably would've been the same as his high school if Chanyeol hadn't been there. Chanyeol makes everything better.  
Baekhyun thinks about the time Chanyeol promised he would follow Baekhyun to hell, if that meant they got to be together.  
Baekhyun sobs harder, thinking why didn't Chanyeol follow him then, didn't he know dying all alone in space was scary?  
He is so so scared. Chanyeol probably would've made fun of his scared expression before hugging him really tight. The soft warm embrace would help Baekhyun to forget everything surrounding him.  
The space was too cold for him to even try to imagine what Chanyeol's hug would feel like.

The 14th minute  
The machine attached to his wrist is blinking red light now. His oxygen level is critical and he doesn't know exactly when is he going to run out of it.  
He evens his breath, slowly inhaling and exhaling while remembering all the time Chanyeol sat there with him while doing the breathing exercise.  
He wanted to live as much as he could with his remaining oxygen. What if Chanyeol comes for him but he had already spent all his oxygen?  
No, Baekhyun can't let that happen. He has to preserve his oxygen so he gets to say 'I love you' to Chanyeol when he comes.

The 16th minute  
Chanyeol won't come, Baekhyun realizes. Chanyeol won't be able to because he won't know where Baekhyun is. Lost in the deep space, it would be a miracle if Chanyeol found him and rescued him. But Baekhyun knows he drove the shuttle as far away as he could to avoid damaging the ship.  
To avoid Chanyeol from seeing the explosion.  
To avoid Chanyeol from coming for him.  
Baekhyun finally remembers why he was lost in the void, to protect Chanyeol. He smiles a little to himself as he realizes he succeeded.

The 19th minute  
Breathing is a bit hard but Baekhyun is trying his best to hang on. Currently he is trying to imagine a normal married life with Chanyeol, a life where Baekhyun never dies and they live happily ever after.  
He isn't done yet. He thinks about their children. They talked about it before, adopting children. They had decided on one boy and one girl. But right now, he couldn't care less about the gender, only if he could have a healthy baby with Chanyeol, he would be so happy and content.  
He realizes he wants to wash dishes with Chanyeol one last time. Nothing too extravagant, a small mundane boring work. He really wants to do it.  
He wants to bump into Chanyeol again and again while wiping the counter one last time.  
He wants to splash water onto Chanyeol's face one last time.  
He wants to coo at Chanyeol complaining about having to do chores one last time.

The 22th minute  
His limp body floats around the endless space. It may look sad that he had to die alone, but he had such beautiful memories to accompany him to the end. Even though he was incredibly sad, he had a small smile on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes, I tried my best to avoid them. If you read it, I sincerely thank you ☺ I hope you enjoyed it. Kudos and comments are very much appreciated! And if you want to be moots/friends on Twitter my @ is anxghtskz hope you have a nice day!! 💛🧡


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